Learning to code was a thought, a theory, kind of like, “Maybe I’ll go up in a hot air balloon one day. There’s not a hot air balloon here, so not today. Where does one even find a hot air balloon? I haven’t seen any floating around my neighborhood. It could be very scary to float that high up. I might fall down and die. The pictures would be nice. The stories I could tell at so many parties might be worth the risk. Then again, I don’t go to parties.” I’ve gone too far with this bit, however learning to code is less risky than taking flight in a basket attached to a balloon.
In the process of aquiring this new skill I have learned things about myself, at 35 I didn’t realize I wasn’t aware. For example when I hit a wall in my lessons. I feel angry. I don’t know anyone personally that can help me. I feel angry because I can’t move in with my family and simply learn to code. I feel angry about having to earn a living. Being a human being isn’t going to cut it on Earth. All I get for free is air. If I want food, clothing and shelter I must keep working. I get miffed when I wake up for work five days a week. I would like to spend forty hours a week learning to code instead of working in retail. Anger is pain wearing an armoured suit.
This pain is valuable once I undress it from anger, let it expand. This pain will help me cultivate compassion. Learning to code requires a solution oriented mindset. The process has allowed me to experience failures less personally. I welcome failures as learning opportunities. I’m happy to know something is broken. It’s part of the process. I understand the process may hurt however when I make it through the walls I experience bliss. I’m willing to endure the process for the reward of joy. I see there is pain that has asked for healing. I see I’ve felt like I didn’t get exposed to opportunities. I see more reason to learn to code so I can be a person who creates opportunities for people to learn to code.
I am aquiring the mindset of a computer programmer. I am rewriting old programs in my mind. I feel empowered. My fingers now are starting to develop the mindset too. They don’t like watching YouTube videos about code for long because they want to code along. I’m still very much a beginner. However I’m in a hot air balloon. I’m floating over the neighborhood. I’m taking selfies. It’s a cool story and when I invest more time I’ll learn how to steer this thing.